When we think of Valentine’s Day, the first thing that comes to mind is romance. And when we think of romance, we picture young couples in the throes of newfound love. No one imagines a middle-aged couple married for twenty-five years, who have grown comfortable with each other; two people so closely knit together that one will know by osmosis what the other is thinking. But something has to be keeping them together after all that time.
As someone who has been married for just about thirty years, I have been asked what the secret is to such a long and happy marriage. For me, that’s easy. First of all, I believe that if you love someone enough to marry them, you’d better love them enough to stay married. Secondly, flexibility. In this culture of a “me first” attitude, I’ve learned to put my husband first. Instead of dwelling on what I want, what I need, and what I deserve, flexibility allows me to adopt a whole new attitude. Really, who’s to say I should come before him? Am I better? More important? Doesn’t he deserve good things, too?
But I am blessed in that I married a man who thinks exactly the same as I do. Can you picture two people, a husband and wife, sliding a last piece of cake back and forth across the table because, as much as they would each love to have it, keeping their spouse happy means more. This is a lame example, but I think it gets my point across.
So, if you’ve been butting heads with your significant other, lately, give this strategy a try. It will begin to tear down that brick wall between you, and life will become less stressful. Then you will smile more. Who can argue with that?
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